Ways To Annoy the St Out of POTC Characters
by XNightxWingX
Summary: The title basically sums it up.
1. Davy Jones

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the POTC characters… yet. ENJOY!

Davy Jones

Switch his broadsword with the Singing Sword from Roger Rabbit.

Braid his tentacles.

Ask him why his tentacles are so long, but say "testicles" by accident.

Ask him what that thing is in the back of his head.

When he sends you a nasty or dangerous look say "It is a tumor?"

Ask why he's always so "crabby".

Scream "OMG, THE CAPTAIN HAS CRABS!"

Introduce him to Triton and claim he's the real ruler of the seas.

Laugh you're a** off when they start to fight like two-year-olds.

When tells you you're neither dead nor dying, say "Thank you, Captain Obvious."

When he asks what your purpose there is, say "The paleontologists sent me to study said 'new species'."

Ask him why he keeps a locket.

Then ask why the feared Devil of the Seas needs a lullaby to sleep at night.

Tell him you know this guy that's great with skin.

Tell him Takoyaki is good. (octopus fritters)

Ask him if he needs an open heart surgery.

Show him a replica of his key and say "Sorry I took it without asking. I borrowed it." Grins evilly

Ask him, "What's that eating your head?"

When he asks you if you fear death, say "Well…since death is supposedly you, no. I don't tend to fear things I eat at a sushi bar."

Shove him at a wall and see if he falls through.

Sing It's "A Small World After All" over and over again.

While he's playing his organ, press your hands over your ears and scream at the top of your lungs, "IS THAT THE ONLY SONG YOU KNOW?!"

When Davy goes to stab Will, tackle him out of nowhere at the last minute and scream, "DON'T KILL SEXY, BITCH!"

When crewmembers finally manage to restrain you, keep shouting the entire time, "You're just jealous! JEALOUS!" (in the background, Will grins Davy's way in a mock ha-ha)

Ask him, "Oh, Davy… what have the producers done to you?"

Get Beckett high off sugar and make him annoy the S**t out of Davy all day.

Ask him if he's acquainted with Ursula.

On his "land day" take him ashore to Cannibal island and have the cannibals surround Davy. Have them scream "SUSHI!" (thank DethRose for this one guys)

If you can accomplish all this without getting killed, it means that Jones' brain is just as squishy as the rest of his… physique.


	2. Lord Cutler Beckett

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the POTC characters… yet. ENJOY!

Cutler Beckett (aka. The Obnoxious Midget with the Funky Wig)

Pull his wig from his head in front of everyone.

Point out how short he is every 5 minutes.

Ask him if he's a legal midget.

Hide his tea set.

Rip his wig from his head.

While he jumps up and down, hold it out of reach and say "Come on, work for it, work for it!"

Have Davy Jones play his organ extra loud with the same song over and over.

Put laxatives in his tea.

Put hot sauce in his tea.

Tell the entire Dutchman crew he's a virgin.

Randomly shout out "DUDE! STOP LOOKING AT JONES' A**!"

Tell him that men like him always have little d*cks.

Call him Becky.

Tell him Jones fancies him.

Call him an eunuch.

Tell him girls don't want him, because they don't want to have to bend over.

Tell everyone he's glomped Jones before.

Trip him as he passes Jones.

When he falls into Jones, shout out "HE'S AT IT AGAIN!"


	3. Maccus hammerhead dude

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the POTC characters… yet. ENJOY!

Maccus (aka: the Hammerhead Dude)

Call him "Rectangle Head".

Introduce him to Pyramid Head (from Silent Hill)

Call him "Tool".

Call him Maggie instead of Maccus.

Call him Mackie.

Poke the eyes on the sides of his head.

When he yells out, ask "Can you see through those?" pokes him again

Ask him if he's ever slammed his head in a narrow doorway.

Ask him if he's ever gotten hooked.

Bring him to an aquarium and leave him there.

Come back about a month later and see if he was put in with the sharks.

Bring him to a shark slaughter house and leave him there.

Play the Jaws theme song every time you see him.

Take him to Cannibal island with the rest of the _Flying Dutchman_ crew and leave them there. Who knows what will happen?

Tell Jones Maccus was f**king Calypso.

Laugh your ass off when Jones throws the clueless first mate overboard.

Tell Jones Maccus fancies him.

Send paleontologists after him and the crew.

Send oceanographer after him and the crew.

Steal him axe. (he loves that axe)

Ask him if his head is a birth defect.

Tell him he needs more sun.

Laugh at how he can't sleep sideways.


End file.
